A portrait from before you fell in & out of love


by Noreen Ocampo


 

Smearing crushed blackberries across old

wounds, my fingers purple, curl, & claw

 

into skin. I shatter my morning teacup along

the edge of the table as the fruit trickles, & you

 

wince at each china fragment’s tiny, jarring screams.

(I am sorry for the trouble.) You do not love me

 

yet — I wonder if you will, someday & somehow,

even if I am like this, shattering china & scalding

 

myself with sugarless tea. This morning, your hands

are how I know them: silent, guiding buttered toast

 

into purpled fingers, unafraid despite how they

curl & claw — still silent as they pour me a new

 

cup of tea & stir in milk to coax out the bitterness.

You are always coaxing out the bitterness. Someday,

 

my fingers will remain pale, & we can share morning

tea together. I hope to see you still seated at the

 

breakfast table then, even though you do not

love me yet — I wonder if you ever will.

 


 

Noreen Ocampo is a Filipina American writer and student at Emory University. In the future, she aims to work in the intersection of storytelling and education, and her poetry appears or is forthcoming in Marías at Sampaguitas, 3 Moon Magazine, and Royal Rose, among others.