A Word in Edgeways

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by Nora Nadjarian

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So I’m in this dream where a whole crowd of people is an audience listening to me up on stage, and it’s so strange to be at the centre of attention, everyone—parents, children, colleagues, female friends, boyfriends, ex-boyfriends, husbands – they’re all hanging on my every word and I have so much to say to them, words spilling out of my mouth, syllable by syllable, all my problems, all my doubts and they’re all nodding, the way I do in real life when they’re talking to me, and I’m telling them You’re such good listeners, you’re the best listeners ever and they’re so focused on my words, and I’m still talking/prattling/chattering/rambling but something has changed in the world where I live when I’m awake, the TV ‘s switched off, no electronic games plugged in, no green or red buttons flashing, no ring tones, no pings, no doors opened, closed, slammed, locked and everybody’s listening to what I have to say which comes out in one long continuous sentence, on and on as if it frightened of its end, and they ‘re pulling faces or laughing when it’s a joke, their eyebrows shooting up when it’s gossip, looking down when I mention divorce or illness or death, their faces have expressions and I remember something here, I remember that my daughter has asked me earlier in the dream how I do it, how I get the whole world to listen to me, even men, how I manage it, I need to know, Mom, she says and I’m thinking how much longer can this go on, dreams are not that long, but maybe it’s not a dream after all but real life the way I want it, after years of waiting I finally get what I want, to get a word in edgeways, my turn to shut them all up and talk non-stop about my problems… Problems? You never said. We didn’t even know you had any they’ll complain, but I won’t respond and I’ll move on to my next worry, my next issue, and the next and next, I’ll make sure they’re still bombarded, their heads pounding, I’ve done it, yes, I’ve outperformed them all.

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