by Chiara Di Lello
the kids stare out over the pond while the park ranger
asks questions about ecosystems. they touch
a beaver pelt, an empty dome of turtle shell
they’re saying what they know about animal adaptations
when a turtle, a whole live one, pulls itself out of the water
and onto the glacier rock at their feet
I am hopped up on DayQuil and running on fumes
but this was why I couldn’t call in sick – the faces
of these pandemic-jaded children cracked wide open
the turtle’s pointed nose slanted up at the clear May sky
people have asked me how I learned to notice things –
cardinal. grackle. the sky gone briefly grapefruit.
it’s a quality I don’t always notice that I have
but when someone first asked I didn’t have to think about it
I knew I learned it from you
look at the moon, you say. look at that bird.
everyone needs someone to say look at that bird.
and you adapted to your environment: between work and home
you wrote at a rented desk at the Mercantile Library
you adapted to the every-single-night dinner rotation
to solo bedtime duties for both kids. you made it work
even though the making and the working both seemed
to go on and on
and I am so tired
but this is the showing up I believe in
in a long frayed line we make our way to the Ramble
where the ranger tells the kids to listen for bird sounds
and hold up one finger for each different bird they hear
I used to think it was funny
how many pictures you could take of flowers
Mama, I take so many pictures of my flowers
like the rose that came up in my yard for no other reason
than someone before me planted it well
everyone needs someone to plant them well.
everyone needs someone to say close your eyes and count the birds.
and here’s the truth: their fingers tick up like second hands
as if they aren’t marking birds but counting out moments
of rare and precious peace
seasoned with late spring, with green, with bird
and I can close my eyes and count the ways you are in me
one two
and on and on
Chiara Di Lello is a writer and educator. She delights in public art, public libraries, and getting improbable places by bicycle. For a born and raised New Yorker, she has a surprisingly strong interest in beekeeping. Find her recent poems in Variant Lit, Whale Road Review, Across the Margin, and others. Find her on Twitter @thetinydynamo.
Emerge Literary Journal 