I Killed My Mother

by Lannie Stabile

Rather, my medical power of attorney, a discouraging conversation with the doctor & an impossible decision killed my mother. Rather, COVID sanitation restrictions and infection from a ventilator killed my mother. Rather two bad lungs, one bad heart & 400 pounds killed my mother. Rather, 62 years of depression & bipolar killed my mother. Rather, two failed marriages, countless failed relationships & widowhood killed my mother. Rather, an alcoholic mother & a dead father killed my mother. Rather unfulfillment, unfettered loneliness & debilitation killed my mother. But isn’t it easier to blame it on a daughter with her hand on the proverbial plug?

Lannie Stabile (she/her), a queer Detroiter, is the winner of OutWrite’s 2020 Chapbook Competition in Poetry; the winning chapbook, Strange Furniture, is out with Neon Hemlock Press. She is a back-to-back finalist for the Glass Chapbook Series and back-to-back semifinalist for the Button Poetry Chapbook Contest. Lannie currently holds the position of Managing Editor at Barren Magazine and is a member of the MMPR Collective. She was named a 2020 Best of the Net finalist. Her debut full-length, Good Morning to Everyone Except Men Who Name Their Dogs Zeus, is out now with Cephalopress. Find her on Twitter @LannieStabile.

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