by Martins Deep
i would have gotten bored with the endless séances, autopsies
his death certificate never revealed. i will let him lie.
because i’ve given up my grief
porn addiction, and will not apologize
to his ghost like i did two months after
his burial in a dream he asked me why i left
his clothes out in the rain to wash off his scent
before making it another layer of my skin.
i would have made peace with forgetting.
the nostalgic smell of burnt catfish, boiled yam, palm oil, antiseptic
soap improvised as his shaving cream. the sound
of highlife; rex jim lawson bleeding in the throat
to blow his trumpet will no more lose virtue to me
in the name of my longing for the miracle of remembrance.
because my eyes will no more be
extorted of rainwater drank from my daughter’s little hands,
the lines on her palms rinsed into my mouth,
i could grope safely through the darkness
of his room practicing echolocation by humming
her favourite nursery rhyme, without brushing
the scab over an old wound against his
armchair, footstool, bed frame. and my sibling across the atlantic
will be so cold, she will set herself on fire
and outrun me running towards home with salmon
grace to our mother, only because, midway, i will remember
mother remarried, but fail to remind her on time. i mean
to tell you there will be a house fire, and ashes would become
of my father’s photographs, keepsakes— everything
loud with his fingerprints. because i would have overwritten
this scar at the back of my left foot after my long walk
in his boots, with the story of how i taught my daughter to walk
on water with her new prosthetic legs.
Martins Deep (he/him) is a poet, photographer, digital artist, and a graduate of Ahmadu Bello University, Zaria. His manuscript, “Sighs in Translation”, achieved semifinalist status for the ’23 Sillerman Prize. His creative works have graced—or are forthcoming—in reputable magazines including Magma Poetry, Strange Horizons, Palette Poetry, Fiyah, Lolwe, Tahoma Literary Review, 20:35 Africa, Augur Magazine, and elsewhere. Feel free to connect with him on X @martinsdeep1.
Emerge Literary Journal 