Straight People

by Dustin Brookshire

                Inspired by “White People Always Want to Tell Me They Grew Up Poor”
by Megan Fernandes

Straight people don’t like when
we correct them:
 
Sexual orientation,
not sexual preference.
 
Straight people
love to message us on Facebook
10 to 15 years after graduation
to say:
It’s okay that you’re gay.
or
I’m proud of you!
or
Yaaaaaas queen!
or
Look at you. You go, girl!
 
Straight people
love to ask
with a Leslie Stahl stare:
Which one of you is the woman?
When we respond,
we’re both guys,
they insist,
But which one of you,
you know, does the woman stuff?
 
Straight people
love to tell us:
I have a gay friend.
 
Then they ask,
Do you know him?
And we have to say
a prayer to Dolly Parton
so we don’t respond:
 
Yes, our homo registry
is updated each night
and downloads
while we sleep.
We are Borg.
 
And they love to close
the conversation with:
Y’all should meet.
 
  [heterosexual dramatic pause]
 
You’d be so cute together.
 
 
Trans and bi people
never say these things to us.
They too deal
with heterosexual commentary.
 
Bi people are often teased:
You can’t make up your mind.
or
At least your dating odds
increase by 50%.
or
Why do you have to be so greedy?
 
Straight people
will tell trans people
remembering pronouns is hard,
forgetting dead names is difficult,
but they will give an oral report
on all eight seasons of Game of Thrones
without forgetting or mispronouncing
a single goddamned name.
 
Straight people
will ask trans people,
Did you have the surgery?
Then point below the waist.
 
Straight people
will say they love us
and vote for politicians
seeking to strip us
of our rights.
 
Oh.
 
Straight people.
 
Straight people.
 
Straight people

Dustin Brookshire’s chapbooks include Never Picked First For Playtime (Harbor Editions, 2023), Love Most Of You Too (Harbor Editions, 2021), and To The One Who Raped Me (Sibling Rivalry Press, 2012). He is the co-editor of Let Me Say This: A Dolly Parton Poetry Anthology (Madville Publishing, 2023), which was named to the 2024 “Books All Georgians Should Read” list by the Georgia Center for the Book. Find him online at dustinbrookshire.com.