Things I already know


by Megan Cannella


 

You say you are getting married on Monday:
it’s just an on paper thing,

before you lose
anymore,
anyone else.

I already know this.

Your mom is gone,
and you want to prove
to her

to yourself

that you have done good

can do good

will keep doing good.

You say you always knew you’d get married
and maybe this is a trauma response.

I already know this.

So I don’t say anything.

More words
lead us down
a weird road
we are used to
but tired of traveling.

So as a trauma response,
we change the subject.

We talk about the people
we used to be,
and we laugh
about the pieces
of us that we can’t find funny,

which is probably a trauma response.

You say when you die,
you want your kids
to cut your body into pieces
and shoot them out of a canon
with a bunch of glitter.

I say I will die in an unmarked grave.

Well,

I will die first,
then
the unmarked grave thing

How will you know when I die?

I remind us
I gave you my power of attorney:
You’ll always know
what happens to me.

You laugh because your wife-to-be
thinks normal people don’t ask their friends
to do things like that.
She still thinks we’re friends.

But maybe that’s not strictly untrue.
But maybe that’s the trauma response.

I already know this.

 


Megan Cannella (@megancannella) is a Midwestern transplant currently living in Nevada. For over a decade, Megan has bounced between working at a call center, grad school, and teaching. She has work in or forthcoming from Versification, The Daily Drunk, (mac)ro(mic), Taco Bell Quarterly, and Schuylkill Valley Journal.

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